Music across the love-span: a mixed methods study into the use of music in romantic relationships

Julia Vigl; Joshua S. Bamford; Abbigail Fleckenstein; Suvi Saarikallio

doi:10.12688/openreseurope.19016.3

Music across the love-span: a mixed methods study into the use of music in romantic relationships

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December 15, 2025

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https://doi.org/10.12688/openreseurope.19016.3

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December 15, 2025 (Version of Record 2.0)
October 31, 2025 (Version of Record 1.0)
December 24, 2024 (Published Manuscript Under Review 1.0)

The Research Council of Norway

Grant ID(s): 262762
Research Council of Finland

Grant ID(s): 346210
European Commission

Grant ID(s): 101045747
Österreichische Forschungsgemeinschaft

Grant ID(s): 06/16599

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Music, romantic relationships, social bonding, mate selection, compatibility, attractiveness

Abstract

Background

Although music is a powerful tool for social bonding, its role in romantic relationships remains poorly understood. This study explored the perceived relevance of music to three aspects of love (intimacy, passion, and commitment) across three relationship stages (attraction, building, and maintenance).

Methods

Using a mixed-methods approach, 174 participants (83% female, 14% male, 3% other) rated the general importance of music and its relevance to intimacy, passion, and commitment across relationship stages, and responded to open-ended questions reflecting on their music-related experiences at each relationship stage.

Results

Quantitative ratings indicated that music is perceived most relevant to intimacy and passion, particularly during the attraction and building phases, and less so to commitment and during the maintenance phase. Participants with greater musical expertise and sensitivity to music-related reward rated music as more important overall and more relevant to all aspects of love. Qualitative analysis of 351 coded open responses revealed a set of 55 key musical actions (e.g., listening, sharing and making music) and outcomes (e.g., bonding, (re)connecting, and assessing compatibility) related to participants’ use of music throughout the three relationship stages. Themes such as signalling attraction and emotional communication were most prominent in the attraction phase, whereas bonding through shared musical activities was more common in later phases.

Conclusion

The present study provides a first systematic investigation of the role of music for different phases and aspects of romantic relationships. The findings provide valuable insights for music research, relationship studies, and therapeutic practice, highlighting the role of music in fostering connection and intimacy in romantic relationships.

Plain Language Summary

Music plays an important role in relationships, especially in the early stages of getting to know someone and building a connection. It can help people express identity, share emotions and bond through shared experiences. But how does music contribute to romantic love at different stages of a relationship, namely initial attraction, building a relationship and maintaining it over time?

This study asked people to rate how important music was at different stages of a relationship, and about the ways they used music in their relationships. It was found that music is most important for fostering intimacy and passion in the early stages, but has less impact on commitment in long-term relationships. People with greater musical ability or enjoyment of music valued it more in their relationships, suggesting that music may signal compatibility rather than simply attractiveness. Participants' personal stories revealed that music-related activities, such as listening to, sharing or creating music together, helped couples to connect and communicate. For example, in the attraction phase, music is often used to signal compatibility or express feelings, while in later phases can be used to bond through shared activities.

This research highlights the power of music in romantic relationships and offers new insights into how couples use music to foster connection and intimacy throughout their shared journey.

Corresponding author

Julia Vigl

0000-0003-2152-7584

julia.vigl@uibk.ac.at

Grant information

This project has received funding from the European Research Council (ERC) under the European Union’s Horizon Europe research and innovation programme (Grant agreement No. [101045747]). This study has also received funding from the Research Council of Finland (346210), Österreichische Forschungsgemeinschaft (06 / 16599) and the Research Council of Norway through its Centres of Excellence scheme (project number 262762).

The funders had no role in study design, data collection and analysis, decision to publish, or preparation of the manuscript.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

First version published

December 24, 2024 (https://doi.org/10.12688/openreseurope.19016.1)

Latest version published

December 15, 2025 (https://doi.org/10.12688/openreseurope.19016.3)

Revised

Amendment

This revised version of the article incorporates the reviewers’ suggestions and additional stylistic improvements to enhance clarity and conciseness. The main changes are as follows:
- Introduction: The terminology surrounding romantic love has been clarified, with key terms such as “mate choice” being defined. Recent literature on relationship stages has been integrated. The research questions have been revised to avoid causal wording and to align with the correlational nature of the study. More details were added on the two contrasting hypotheses considered for RQ2.

- Methods: We clarified that gender identity, rather than sex, was asked about in the demographic questions. We added a footnote on survey drop-off and further explained the mean value of 0 for musical expertise.

- Quantitative results: The results for RQ1 were restructured to clearly link the descriptive statistics to the outcomes of the analyses of variance (ANOVAs). Post-hoc t-values and Cohen's d were added, and consistent terminology was adopted to distinguish between the perceived general importance of music and its relevance to intimacy, passion and commitment. Interpretations of effect size are now more clearly integrated into both the results and the discussion.

- Qualitative results: Reporting frequencies for both first- and second-order codes was justified. We also added a clarification indicating where detailed descriptions of all codes can be found (in the supplementary materials; Table S1 on OSF).

- Discussion and limitations: The discussion has been revised to better connect the qualitative findings with the quantitative results and effect sizes.The effect sizes and distinctions between musical expertise and musical reward were clarified. Limitations related to qualitative data depth, sample characteristics and future research directions have been expanded upon.

- Other: We have tried to improve the clarity and conciseness of the language used throughout the manuscript and have made minor editorial and typographical corrections.

Introduction

Music plays an important role in everyday life and serves not only personal purposes (e.g., mood regulation, evoking positive memories), but also social functions (e.g., Dingle et al., 2021; Tarr et al., 2014). For example, musical preferences are among the most frequent topics of conversation when strangers initiate relationships (Rentfrow & Gosling, 2006), and social bonding develops more rapidly in singing groups than in those engaged in crafts or creative writing (Pearce et al., 2015). While most research to date has concentrated on music's social functions in contexts involving strangers or friends, a recent comprehensive theoretical review by Bamford et al. (2024) explored the potential role of music in the specific case of romantic relationships, addressing mate selection and social bonding functions of musical experiences across different relationship stages. Building on this work, the present study aimed to offer an initial investigation into the perceived relevance of music in romantic relationships. Using a combination of quantitative ratings and qualitative open-ended questions, we asked participants to rate music’s relevance to different aspects of love and to retrospectively report on their experiences with musical activities and the outcomes they associated with them.

Aspects of love in romantic relationships

In romantic relationships, love refers to the emotional, cognitive, motivational, and behavioural bonds that develop between partners. It encompasses romantic love, which is an intense, short-term motivational state typically observed in the early stages of a relationship, and companionate love, which is a less intense but more enduring form of love common in long-term partnerships (Bode & Kushnick, 2021; Walster & Walster, 1978). Although definitions vary, commonly cited elements of love include a desire for an enduring bond (Hatfield & Rapson, 1993), strong emotional attachment combined with sexual desire (Goode, 1959), and interdependence, in which partners influence each other's behaviours and decisions (Bradbury & Karney, 2019). A prominent research framework is Sternberg's (1986) Triangular Theory of Love, which identifies three key components of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. These components determine the type of love, ranging from non-love (absence of all components) to consummate love (strong presence of all three components).

Within this framework, intimacy represents the 'warm' components of love, involving mutual interactions and self-disclosure, deep affective feelings, and an inclination to seek closeness (Sternberg, 1986). Passion embodies the 'hot' component of love and includes cognitive (e.g., persistent thoughts), affective (e.g., sexual attraction and intense emotions), and behavioural (e.g., seeking physical closeness) aspects (Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986; Sternberg, 1986). The third component, commitment, is the 'cold' component of love. It involves the decision to enter and maintain a long-term relationship, as well as behaviours intended to achieve this goal, such as devaluing alternatives, making sacrifices for the partner, and accommodating negative partner behaviour (Sternberg, 1986).

The Triangular Theory of Love has significantly influenced subsequent theories of love in romantic relationships, has been empirically validated (e.g., Acker & Davis, 1992; Kowal et al., 2024; Lemieux & Hale, 2002), and has shown potential universality across cultures (Sorokowski et al., 2021).

Romantic relationship stages

For the present study, we used Levinger's (1980) concept of long-term relationships, as adopted in the theoretical framework of Bamford et al. (2024). This model distinguishes three primary stages of romantic relationships: attraction, relationship building and, when the relationship continues, the maintenance phase. Although this framework is widely used in relationship research, it should be considered a helpful guide rather than a prescriptive sequence. Contemporary research has shown that romantic relationships often follow nonlinear and highly variable developmental pathways (e.g., Eastwick et al., 2019; Ogolsky et al., 2025). Nevertheless, these stages align well with other influential models of relationship development such as the Staircase Model (Knapp, 1978), Social Penetration Theory (Altman & Taylor, 1973), and Uncertainty Reduction Theory (Berger & Calabrese, 1975).

During the attraction stage, potential partners get to know each other, leading to emotional and cognitive evaluations. Attraction is influenced by a variety of internal and external factors, including personality traits, values, physical appearance, mutual liking, and perceived similarities in personality, values, and attitudes (e.g., Buss & Barnes, 1986; Luo, 2017; Montoya & Horton, 2020). Communication at this stage is typically superficial and guided by social norms, with limited personal disclosure (e.g., Berger & Calabrese, 1975; Knapp, 1978). However, recent evidence suggests that attraction frequently emerges between individuals who are already acquainted, with “friends-first” being a prevalent pathway (Stinson et al., 2022).

The phase of building a relationship is characterised by a rapid increase in self-disclosure, allowing for deeper communication and the sharing of personal opinions and attitudes (e.g., Altman & Taylor, 1973). As communication intensifies and bonds strengthen, partners may form a relational identity, make the relationship public, or take significant steps such as marriage (Knapp, 1978).

Once partners define themselves as couples or romantic partners, the relationship continues into the maintenance phase. Individual strategies for maintaining the relationship may include positive illusions, idealisation, and expressions of gratitude, while interactive strategies include effective communication, conflict management, dyadic coping, mutual support, humour, and engaging in joint activities (Ogolsky et al., 2017).

The prominence of the three components of love changes with relationship phase. The attraction phase (which typically lasts up to six months) is characterised by a rapid increase in passion for a potential partner. As the relationship moves into the building phase, and for about the first four years, couples experience increased intimacy, with a slight decrease in passion. Beyond this period, commitment becomes more central, with intimacy remaining at medium to high levels, while passion continues to decline (Acker & Davis, 1992; García, 1998; Wojciszke, 2002).

Music for mate choice and social bonding

The potential for music to foster social connection has been widely studied; however, most studies focus on groups of strangers or friends, rather than couples. For example, musical preferences are important expressions of identity (e.g., Shepherd & Sigg, 2015) and are often used to initiate conversations with strangers (Rentfrow & Gosling, 2006). Having similar tastes can strengthen in-group bonds and encourage the development of friendships (Lonsdale & North, 2009; Selfhout et al., 2009). Singing elicits sociobiological bonding responses (Bowling et al., 2022; Kreutz, 2014) and has been associated with faster bonding processes compared to other activities (Pearce et al., 2015). Collective musical activities, such as drumming and improvisation, have been linked to prosocial behaviour, feelings of belonging, and commitment (Kokal et al., 2011; Kokotsaki & Hallam, 2007; Verneert et al., 2021). These effects are often attributed to synchrony, as interpersonal temporal coordination of actions tends to increase feelings of social affiliation, trust, and prosocial behaviour (Bamford et al., 2023; Hove & Risen, 2009; Mogan et al., 2017; Rennung & Göritz, 2016; Vicaria & Dickens, 2016). Music provides a temporal scaffolding that makes it easier to coordinate actions in time (Tarr, 2017), while also creating a social space that aligns the intentions and emotions of participants (Cross, 2014). These mechanisms can be understood through the Access-Awareness-Agency model, which proposes music’s ability to provide non-verbal, embodied access to shared emotional experiences is fundamental to social-emotional development (Saarikallio, 2019).

However, while there is substantial research on the capacity of music to foster bonding between groups or strangers, few studies have specifically examined how music-related experiences are associated with mate choice (the process by which individuals evaluate and select potential romantic or sexual partners based on perceived desirable or compatible traits; Edward, 2015) or may enhance feelings of love in romantic relationships. This question is particularly relevant from an evolutionary perspective. The function of music has been linked not only to social bonding and coalition signalling in groups (Mehr et al., 2021; Savage et al., 2021), but also to mating, where musicality may signal fitness or compatibility (e.g., Miller, 2000). In many species, including birds and gibbons, vocalisations and musical displays are associated with pair bonding (e.g., Fitch, 2005; Geissmann, 2000). This supports the theory that music has evolved, at least in part, through sexual selection.

Some studies have already shown that musical traits – such as being a musician, improvisational skills, or dance ability – are perceived as attractive (Hagen & Bryant, 2003; Madison et al., 2018; Marin & Rathgeber, 2022), consistent with evidence that creativity is generally considered attractive in mate choice (e.g., Karamihalev, 2013). However, other studies have found no significant associations between musical ability and mating success (Mosing et al., 2015) or have reported such effects only among highly musical individuals (Bongard et al., 2019).

Beyond attracting potential partners, music also appears in established relationships. A prominent example is the 'couple-defining song'. Harris et al. (2020) found that 60% of 200 U.S. participants reported having songs they associate with their romantic relationships, which in turn were associated with greater intimacy, a stronger sense of "we", and the retrieval of positive shared memories. Couples also report engaging in musical activities together (Campbell et al., 2011). However, to the best of our knowledge, only one study has specifically examined the effects of engaging in dyadic musical activities such as listening to music together, sharing and exploring music, or making music as a couple. This study found that even when controlling for other non-musical dyadic activities, couples who engaged in dyadic musical activities (as opposed to structured group activities with others) experienced higher levels of commitment, mediated by interpersonal coordination and self-disclosure (Harwood & Wallace, 2021). Notably, two thirds of the dyads in this study were non-musicians, suggesting that the positive effects of engaging in musical activities are not solely dependent on both partners being musically inclined.

Overall, research on the relevance of music to different aspects of love in romantic relationships is limited. Apart from one study that examined the impact of shared musical activities on commitment (Harwood & Wallace, 2021), little research has been conducted on how music influences intimacy or passion. It remains unclear how couples use music in their relationships, whether and how these actions influence love-related outcomes, and which individuals place more or less importance on music during the development and maintenance of romantic feelings.

The present study: Aims and research questions

This study aimed to empirically test the role of music in romantic relationships. Although the research questions were not preregistered, they were derived from predictions by Bamford et al. (2024). We used a mixed-method design combining quantitative and qualitative approaches, which allowed us to explore the nuances of participants' experiences with music in relationships, potentially uncovering themes and patterns that may not emerge from quantitative measures alone. The following three research questions guided this study:

RQ1: How important do individuals perceive music to be in romantic relationships overall, and how relevant do they consider it to be in fostering intimacy, passion, and commitment at different stages of romantic relationships?

According to the model outlined by Bamford et al. (2024), we expect the relevance of music to passion to be highest in the attraction phase, intimacy to be highest in the building phase, and commitment to be highest in the maintenance phase. However, these predictions are based on limited prior research.

RQ2: Does the perceived importance of music in romantic relationships, both overall and in contributing to specific aspects of love (passion, intimacy, and commitment), vary with individual differences in musical expertise and sensitivity to musical reward?

Two contrasting hypotheses can be considered for RQ2: On the one hand, people often seek similarity in romantic partners (Luo, 2017), so musical expertise and sensitivity to music-related reward may correlate positively with the perceived importance of music in romantic relationships overall, as well as in different aspects of love. On the other hand, musicality may be broadly attractive because it signals overall fitness (Miller, 1999), implying that music should be equally important to everyone. Therefore, an alternative hypothesis is that there is no correlation between individual factors (musical expertise, and sensitivity to music-related reward) and the importance of music. Examining these associations could help clarify whether the role and potential benefits of music in romantic relationships are universal, or whether they are primarily characteristic of individuals with higher musicality.

RQ3: What is the nature of music-related experiences that individuals recall in the context of romantic relationships across the three relationship phases?

While RQ1 and RQ2 will be addressed with quantitative data, RQ3 is purely exploratory and will be analysed qualitatively using a data-driven template analysis of participants' responses.

Methods

Participants

A total of 174 individuals (out of 402 who visited or started the survey¹) completed all parts of the study (145 females, 25 males, 3 non-binary, 1 other), with a mean age of 27.18 years (SD = 9.27, range = 18–63). Most participants reported Finland (n = 49), Austria (n = 40), and Germany (n = 38) as their nationalities; other nationalities reported by more than one participant included Italy (18), the United Kingdom (4), and Australia (4). In terms of education, 56% held a university degree, 34% a high school diploma, 9% vocational training, and 1% compulsory education.

Regarding musical background, the sample was quite diverse. Slightly more than half of the participants identified themselves as non-musicians (57%), 35% described themselves as amateurs or serious amateur musicians, and 8% as (semi-)professional musicians. At the same time, 61% of the sample played an instrument or sing (97% of amateur and (semi)professional musicians; 34% of non-musicians). Musically active participants had been singing/playing for an average of 15.80 years (SD = 11.20, range = 0–55) and practice about 3.41 hours per week (SD = 4.40, range = 0–24).

Most participants were in a romantic relationship at the time of participation (n = 118, 68%); 36 (21%) were single, and the remaining 20 (11%) were in the dating stage. Of the participants who were not single (n = 138), 116 (84%) were in the maintenance phase of a relationship, 13 (9%) in the building phase, and 9 (7%) in the initial attraction phase. Participants in romantic relationships had been together with their partner for a mean of 5.28 years (SD = 2.38, range = 0.08 - 40.42).

Procedure

This study was conducted as an online survey using the open access software LimeSurvey (Limesurvey GmbH, 2022). Participants were recruited through email invitations sent to all students at the University of Innsbruck (Austria) and the University of Jyväskylä (Finland). In addition, the study invitation was shared on social media platforms, including Facebook and Instagram. The only inclusion criterion was that participants had to have experienced at least one romantic relationship of any kind (e.g. monogamous, polyamorous, open, heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual) at some point in their lives. After providing informed consent and completing demographic questions, participants were presented with explanations of the three relationship phases (attraction, building and maintenance) and aspects of love (intimacy, passion, and commitment). They were then asked to provide information about their experiences with music in the context of romantic relationships and answer quantitative and qualitative questions separately for each phase. Finally, participants provided information about their musical background, current relationship status, and sensitivity to musical reward, as well as additional questions about the importance of music in the context of love. The survey was distributed on 12 pages, with approximately 3–10 questions per page. Data were collected between November 2023 and February 2024.

Quantitative measures

Participants completed the survey in either English or German. The exact wording of all question and answer labels is available in the OSF repository (quantitative data section). Item wordings are presented in English, and German versions are available upon request.

Role of music in romantic relationships. Separately for each of the relationship phases (attraction, building, maintenance), participants rated the overall perceived importance of music and how much they felt music is relevant to the three components of the Triangle Theory of Love (Sternberg, 1986), namely passion, intimacy, and commitment (see Table 1 for exact wordings and answer labels). At the end of the survey, they answered a few more questions about the integration of music in their relationships (all on a 5-point scale; 1 = No, not at all, 5 = Yes, totally): whether they talk about music with (potential) partners, whether a (potential) partner's musical taste and musical ability is important to them, whether they ever had a song that represented the relationship ("our song"), and whether they think musical compatibility is more important than compatibility in other areas of leisure.

Table 1. Self-generated questions regarding the role of music in romantic relationships.

Construct	Question text	Answer format
Overall perceived importance of music	At this stage of the relationship, is/was music important to you?	1 = No, not at all; 5 = Yes, totally
Music’s relevance to passion	At this stage of the relationship, did music contribute to strengthening the passion you feel towards each other?	1 = No, not at all; 5 = Yes, totally
Music’s relevance to intimacy	At this stage of the relationship, did music help you to feel more connected to each other?	1 = No, not at all; 5 = Yes, totally
Music’s relevance to commitment	At this stage of the relationship, did music contribute to the decision to continue the relationship with this person?	1 = No, not at all; 5 = Yes, totally

Note: Participants answered each question three times, once for each of the three relationship phases (attraction, building and maintenance).

Musical Expertise. To assess participants' musical expertise, we used a combination of different measures: the self-reported musical status from the Ollen Musical Sophistication Index (Ollen, 2006) (1 = non-musician, 2 = music-loving non-musician, 3 = amateur musician, 4 = serious amateur musician, 5 = semi-professional musician, 6 = professional musician), supplemented by self-generated questions on whether they played an instrument or sang, for how many years, and how many hours per week they practised. To adjust for age differences, we re-coded years of practice to indicate the percentage of life spent playing an instrument or singing (years of practice/age). As the four items (self-reported musical status, whether or not they play an instrument/sing, years of playing/singing, and weekly practice hours) were internally consistent (Cronbach’s Alpha = 0.86), they were z-transformed and combined into a continuous composite score for musical expertise. Standardising these items before computing the composite score resulted in a mean score of 0.

Sensitivity to Musical Reward. Sensitivity to musical reward experiences was assessed using the Barcelona Music Reward Questionnaire (BMRQ; Mas-Herrero et al., 2013). It assesses different facets of music reward and had acceptable internal consistency in our sample: music-seeking (α = 0.61; e.g., “ I inform myself about music I like”), emotion evocation (α = 0.63; e.g., “ I sometimes feel chills when I hear a melody that I like”), mood regulation (α = 0.70; e.g., “ Music calms and relaxes me”), sensory motor (α = 0.73; e.g., “ Music often makes me dance”), social reward (α = 0.54; e.g., “ Music makes me bond with other people”), and an overall musical reward score (α = 0.82). All items were measured on a 5-point scale (1 = strongly disagree, 5 = strongly agree). As we are not aware of a validated German version of the BMRQ, three bilingual translators independently translated the scale into German and selected the best translation for each item.

Demographic and relationship questions. We further asked about age, gender identity (1 = female, 2 = male, 3 = non-binary, 4 = other), education (1 = compulsory school without vocational training, 2 = compulsory school with vocational training, 3 = vocational school with A-levels/high-school diploma, 4 = academic high school/grammar school, 5 = Bachelor’s degree, 6 = Master’s degree, 8 = Doctorate/PhD degree), and nationality. Furthermore, we assessed whether participants were in a romantic relationship, and, if so, at what stage (attraction, building, or maintenance) and for how many years.

Qualitative measures

For each of the three relationship phases (attraction, building, and maintenance), we provided participants with an empty text box to list their experiences with music relevant to their romantic relationships at that stage. The question wording was:

“Please list any experiences with music that have been relevant to the relationship during the phase of [attraction/building/maintaining a relationship]. These can be positive activities that have strengthened the relationship, or negative experiences that have contributed to drifting apart”.

Data analysis

All analyses were conducted using R Studio (version 2025.05.0), and both the data and analysis codes are available in the OSF repository.

Quantitative analysis. We conducted quantitative analyses to address the first two research questions. Two repeated measures ANOVAs assessed whether the importance of music overall and in strengthening different components of love varied across relationship stages or love aspects. We tested the sphericity assumption using Mauchly’s test and, where violated, applied Greenhouse-Geisser corrections (indicated by decimal degrees of freedom). The first analysis predicted the overall perceived importance of music (see Table 1 for question wording) based on the relationship stage. The second analysis predicted the perceived relevance of music based on aspects of love (intimacy, passion, commitment; see Table 1 for item wordings), relationship stages (attraction, building, maintaining), and their interactions. To explore the associations between music-related individual characteristics and the perceived role of music in romantic relationships, we ran additional correlation analyses. As most variables were measured on ordinal scales, Spearman’s rank-order correlations were used. To account for multiple testing, the Benjamini-Hochberg procedure was used to correct the p-values, controlling the false discovery rate at 0.05. For the correlational analysis involving gender, participants identifying as non-binary or other genders (n = 4) were excluded. For all the other analyses, we used the complete dataset.

Qualitative analysis. We used template analysis (Brooks et al., 2015; Crabtree & Miller, 1992) to analyse participants' responses to three open-ended survey questions about their experiences of music in romantic relationships. Following the methodology outlined by Brooks et al. (2015), we first created a collaborative template among all authors. The template for the current analysis was inductively defined based on empirical observations from the initial screening of the responses. The initial template delineated two main categories: 'action', which included activities such as making, sharing and listening to music, and 'outcome', which included signalling attraction or compatibility, bonding and regulating emotions and affect. Once a basic code structure was established, two authors independently and parallelly coded all responses, meeting periodically to refine or expand the template, as needed. Each response could be assigned multiple codes, but each code was counted only once per response to avoid overrepresenting participants who provided more detailed answers. Ultimately, we arrived at a final set of 55 codes relating to nine second-order themes categorised as either an action or an outcome. Due to the high number of first-order codes, a frequency analysis was conducted for first-order codes, second-order themes, and aggregate dimensions. An overview of the codes, higher-order themes, and aggregate dimensions identified is shown in Figure 2, and Table S3 (OSF repository) provides detailed descriptions of all codes. Inter-rater agreement was assessed using Cohen's kappa coefficient (McHugh, 2012).

Results

Quantitative results

To address RQ1, we conducted two repeated-measures ANOVAs: one predicting the overall perceived importance of music across relationship phases, and one predicting the perceived relevance of music to intimacy, passion, and commitment across relationship phases.

In the first ANOVA, the perceived general importance of music did not differ across the relationship phases, F(1.85, 319.2) = 0.77, p = .462, ηp² < 0.01. As shown in Figure 1 (gray boxplots), participants reported similar levels of importance in the attraction (M = 4.03, SD = 1.02), building (M = 4.03, SD = 0.99), and maintenance (M = 3.95, SD = 1.08) phases.

Figure 1. The perceived importance of music across the three phases of romantic relationships.

Note. Boxplots summarise the distribution of the data, while the responses of individual participants are shown as jittered points. Mean values are indicated by larger black circles. Questions regarding the general importance of music, as well as its perceived relevance to the three aspects of love, were measured on a scale from 1 (not at all) to 5 (totally).

Figure 2. Full list of codes and higher order themes.

Note. Negative valence codes are shown in grey. Code descriptions can be found in the extended data (OSF repository).

In the second ANOVA, we examined the perceived relevance of music to the three aspects of love across relationship stages. This analysis revealed significant main effects for both aspect, F(1.39, 240) = 195.75, p < .001, ηp² = 0.53, and phase, F(1.62, 280) = 13.44, p < .001, ηp² = 0.07, and no interaction effect, F(3.56, 616) = 0.87, p = .475, ηp² = 0.01. Regarding aspects of love, pairwise comparisons using Bonferroni correction indicated significant differences between all relationship aspects: music was perceived to be slightly more relevant to intimacy (M = 3.96, SD = 0.97) than passion (M = 3.76, SD = 0.99, t(521) = 5.95, p < .001, d = 0.26), and less relevant to commitment (M = 2.79, SD = 1.18) than to both intimacy (t(521) = 22.1, p < .001, d = 0.97) and passion (t(521) = 18.8, p < .001, d = 0.83). Regarding relationship phases, there were no significant differences in perceived relevance to the three love aspects between the attraction (M = 3.61, SD = 1.08) and building phases (M = 3.59, SD = 1.02; t(522) = 0.51, p = 1.00, d = 0.01 ), but music’s relevance was rated as lower for the maintenance phase (M = 3.31, SD = 1.05) compared to both the attraction (t(522) = 5.42, p < .001, d = 0.24) and building phases (t(522) = 6.26, p < .001, d = 0.27). Figure 1 (coloured boxplots) shows the distribution of relevance ratings separately for each love aspect and relationship phase.

To test whether music-related individual traits moderate the role of music in romantic relationships (RQ2), we correlated musical expertise and sensitivity to music-related reward with the overall perceived importance of music and its relevance to the three aspects of love (aggregated across phases). As an exploratory analysis, we also included demographics (gender, age, and education) in the correlations. As detailed in Table 2, sensitivity to musical reward was positively associated with all outcomes except commitment. Most correlations had moderate effect size, with a small effect size for music's relevance to commitment (Cohen, 2013). Musical expertise showed only a weak correlation with the overall importance of music. Table S1 in the supplementary materials (OSF repository) shows the same correlations for all BMRQ subscales. The strongest correlations with overall importance and relevance to the three aspects of love were observed for the social reward subscale, while the weakest correlations were found for the sensory-motor subscale.

Table 2. Correlations between the perceived importance of music overall and its relevance to the three aspects of love (intimacy, passion, commitment) and personal characteristics, including means and standard deviations.

	Variables assessing personal characteristics
Variables assessing the role of music	Musical expertise (M = 0.00, SD = 0.83)	BMRQ Total Score (M = 4.04, SD = 0.46)	Gender::female	Age (M = 27.18, SD = 9.27)	Education (M = 4.77, SD = 1.17)
Overall importance of music	.22*	.47***	.02	.07	-.01
Music’s relevance to passion	.09	.38***	-.06	.04	-.06
Music’s relevance to intimacy	.03	.34***	.03	.03	-.05
Music’s relevance to commitment	.14	.25**	-.04	.18	.06

Note. Education was measured as the highest level of education achieved (1 = compulsory education without vocational training; 7 = doctorate/PhD; see the Methods section for all answer options). Musical expertise is a composite score based on multiple items that were z-transformed before computing the composite score (see Methods section), therefore the mean is 0. BMRQ = Barcelona Music Reward Questionnaire.

*p < .05, ** p < .01, ***p < .001, with all p-values corrected using the Benjamini-Hochberg method.

[i] Note. Education was measured as the highest level of education achieved (1 = compulsory education without vocational training; 7 = doctorate/PhD; see the Methods section for all answer options). Musical expertise is a composite score based on multiple items that were z-transformed before computing the composite score (see Methods section), therefore the mean is 0. BMRQ = Barcelona Music Reward Questionnaire. *p < .05, ** p < .01, ***p < .001, with all p-values corrected using the Benjamini-Hochberg method.

As the BMRQ showed moderate correlations with all outcomes, we conducted an additional analysis to examine whether music-related reward sensitivity influenced the relative importance attached to music across relationship phases and love aspects. Specifically, we ran a repeated-measures ANOVA including the BMRQ group (low versus high, based on a median split) as the between-subjects factor. The analysis revealed significant main effects of love aspect (F(1.38, 238) = 197.17, p < .001, ηp² = 0.53) and phase (F(1.62, 279) = 13.35, p < .001, ηp² = 0.07), as well as a main effect of BMRQ (F(1.00, 172) = 23.21, p < .001, ηp² = 0.12). This indicates that individuals with higher BMRQ scores consistently rated music as more important than those with lower scores, across all phases and aspects of love. There were no significant interactions between the BMRQ and phase (F(1.62, 279) = 0.01, p = .991, ηp² < 0.01) or aspect (F(1.38, 238) = 1.76, p = .184, ηp² = 0.01), suggesting that the relative pattern of music's perceived relevance across phases and love aspects was unaffected by the BMRQ. Figure S1 (OSF repository) illustrates these results, showing the importance of music across phases and love aspects separately for low and high BMRQ groups.

In response to additional 5-point scale questions, participants reported that they typically discussed musical preferences with their (potential) partners (M = 4.28, SD = 0.86), place moderate importance on their partner's musical taste (M = 3.52, SD = 1.06), but less importance on their partner's musical ability (M = 2.19, SD = 1.14). On average, participants tended to have songs they associate with their relationships (M = 3.70, SD = 1.37). Overall, participants did not perceive musical compatibility as more important than compatibility in other leisure activities (M = 2.54, SD = 1.05). Consistent with findings on the role of music in romantic relationships, musical expertise was positively correlated with talking about preferences and valuing a partner’s musical ability, while musical reward was positively associated with all five additional questions (see Table S2 in the OSF repository).

Qualitative results

Of the 174 participants, 147 answered to at least one of the three open-ended questions. Responses were provided by 129 participants for the attraction phase, 119 for the building phase, and 103 for the maintenance phase, resulting in 351 coded responses. The length of participant responses ranged from 1 to 544 words (M = 13.6 words). Template analysis, as described in the Methods section, yielded 55 distinct codes grouped into nine higher-order themes (making and recalling memories, listening to music, sharing and discussing music, active musical activities, attraction, compatibility, self-disclosure and communication, bonding and (re)connecting, emotion/affect, and regulation) and two aggregate dimensions (action and outcome), as shown in Figure 2. A detailed description of all the themes is provided in Table S3 (OSF repository). We recognise that readers may be surprised to see 'memories' categorised as an action rather than an outcome code. Unlike our outcome codes, which reflect emotional or relationship-related processes, the theme 'memories' occupies an intermediate position. We placed it in the action dimension because it primarily refers to the active process of creating and recalling memories, which can then lead to emotional or relational outcomes.

Inter-coder reliability was substantial, with κ = 0.62, z = 104, p < .001 across all codes and phases. Agreement was similarly high for the attraction (κ = 0.62, z = 60.27, p < .001), building (κ = 0.60, z = 58.65, p < .001), and maintenance (κ = 0.63, z = 61.65, p < .001) phases. Tables S4 and S5 (see OSF repository) show that all Kappas for second-order themes were consistently above 0.40, indicating at least moderate agreement (M = 0.57, SD = 0.12, range = 0.40 - 0.65). Of the 55 first-order codes, 76% showed at least moderate agreement (> 0.40), and 96% achieved at least fair agreement (> 0.20) (M = 0.58, SD = 0.21, range = 0.12 - 1.00). The code with the lowest agreement was 5C ('Attracted by shared musical experiences', κ = 0.12), followed by 6C ('Extra-musical compatibility', κ = 0.19).

To increase the robustness of the findings, only codes identified by both coders will be included in the qualitative analysis, given the high level of agreement between the coders. Frequencies are reported as the percentage of participants who mentioned each code/theme/dimension at least once, either across all three open-ended questions, or within a given phase.

Aggregate dimensions: Action and Outcome. Regarding the two aggregate dimensions of action and outcome (the latter subdivided into bonding, signalling, and emotions), 72.4% of participants mentioned musical actions in at least one response, including activities such as listening to music, sharing music, and creating music. Bonding as an outcome, involving connection/reconnection and self-disclosure, was mentioned by 39.7% of participants. Signalling appeared in 40.2% of participants’ responses, referring to indications of attraction (e.g., being attracted by the musical ability of a potential partner) or compatibility (e.g., finding out about shared musical tastes or extra-musical compatibility). Emotion as an outcome appeared in 13.2% of responses and involved (co)regulation of emotions, such as setting the mood or processing emotional experiences.

Across all relationship phases, musical actions were consistently present, appearing in 58.0%, 56.9%, and 44.8% of participants’ responses in the attraction, building, and maintenance phases, respectively. Similarly, bonding was observed in 18.4%, 19.0%, and 19.5% of responses across attraction, building and maintenance phases. Signalling was most pronounced in the attraction phase (27.0%), followed by the building phase (14.4%), and maintenance phase (13.2%). Emotional outcomes were less pronounced, appearing in 7.5%, 5.2%, and 2.9% of responses in the attraction, building, and maintenance phases, respectively.

Second-order themes. The heatmap in Figure 3 provides an overview of theme frequencies, based on the percentage of participants who mentioned codes belonging to each theme, both overall and across phases. Overall, the most frequent theme was listening to music in public and private contexts (Theme 2), followed by sharing and discussing music (Theme 3) and engaging in active musical activities (Theme 4). We also observed variations in the prominence of themes across phases. For example, 'listening to music' increased in frequency from the attraction to the maintenance phase, while 'sharing and discussing music' was more common in the attraction and building phases and decreased in the maintenance phase. The theme 'making and recalling memories' (Theme 1) was most prevalent in the attraction and, to a lesser extent, maintenance phases, where participants referred to creating shared memories early on and recalling them later. Representative responses include: “Having that song as a reminder of all the good in the relationship and why you love the other person, having positive memories tied to that and other songs that are brought up when you listen to them[...]” (Participant 116), and

Figure 3. Frequencies of second-order themes across relationship phases, shown as percentages of participants (color) and absolute participant counts (numbers).

“Certain songs discovered and consumed during that period (especially when they were relationship pop [songs]) connect with that time and reinforce the feeling of attraction. I've always felt that the songs I've consumed a lot tie in with important events in my life during the listening period, as well as the seasons.” (Participant 168)

Feelings of attraction through music (Theme 5) were most prevalent in the attraction phase, whereas references to compatibility through music (Theme 6) occurred across all phases, but were again most common in the attraction phase. The themes 'Self-disclosure and communication' (Theme 7) and 'Emotion/affect & regulation' (Theme 9) were more prominent in the early phases of relationships. Regarding self-disclosure, participants described moments in which they revealed personal information to their partners, including their musical preferences and experiences, and used songs or song lyrics to express feelings and intentions. Quotes exemplifying this theme include, “we shared playlists of music that we like. Also we exchanged playlists with music in our native languages, as we are an international couple (finnish and spanish).” (Participant 17), “You can also ask which songs you listened to as a child and find out something about your family environment.” (Participant 326). Regarding emotion/affect & regulation, participants described using music was used either intentionally or unintentionally to set the mood or affective tone while together or independently. An examples of this theme in participants’ responses is:

“We both have a playlist of songs that the other one has suggested to us. I've added ‘extra’ songs to mine that remind me of him/our relationship. And when I miss him or am generally just having a bad day or am sad, I listen to this playlist. It calms me down.” (Participant 386)

Many participant responses in this theme discussed the importance of music before, during, and/or after sex. For instance:

“I think that the choice of music is extremely important during sex. In my experience, the type of music has a significant effect on sex and therefore also determines whether it vibes. What I've also noticed personally in this context is that "more relaxed" and "romantic" music only feels good with people you really like. So music can also be an indicator of how comfortable I feel with a person and how vulnerable I can be.” (participant 238)

First-order codes. In the action dimension, three of the most frequent codes were related to listening to music: listening to music together (2F, n = 88, 15.6%), listening to music in public (2A, n = 52, 29.9%) and listening to music in private (2B, n = 37, 21.3%). In addition, 28.2% of the participants mentioned sharing and talking about music (3A, n = 49), and 19.5% mentioned making music together (4A, n = 34). In the outcome dimension, the most prevalent codes were compatible musical tastes (6A, n = 37, 21.3%) and strengthening bonds/deepening connections (8A, n = 33, 19.0%), followed by realising incompatibility through music (6E, n = 16, 9.2%).

Table 3 summarises the top three codes for each phase for both action and outcome dimensions. Across all phases, the most common action codes consistently involve listening to music (together, in public, and in private; 2F, 2A, 2B). In contrast, the outcomes of musical activities differed by relationship phase. In the attraction and building phases, participants primarily mentioned compatibility (e.g., having compatible tastes or musical abilities, 6A) and to a smaller extent incompatibility (e.g., finding out to have different tastes, 6E), followed by deepening bonds (8A). In the maintenance phase, coping with differences becomes more prominent (e.g., finding a way to deal with differences in musical preferences, 6D), as do topics such as incorporating music into future plans and commitments (e.g., planning dance lessons or choosing music for a wedding, 8D).

Table 3. Most prevalent (top three) first-order codes across relationship phases.

Code	Frequency	Percentage (by phase)
*Attraction Phase*
Action
2F - Together (music listening)	40	23.0
3A - Sharing or talking about music	38	21.8
2A - Public (music listening)	17	9.8
Outcome
6A - Compatible musical tastes	25	14.4
8A - Strengthening bonds / deepening connection	17	9.8
5A - Attracted by musical ability & 5B - Attracted by shared taste	8	4.6
*Building Phase*
Action
2F - Together (music listening)	46	26.4
3A - Sharing or talking about music	20	11.5
2A - Public (music listening) & 4A - Making music	19	10.9
Outcome
8A - Strengthening bonds/deepening connection	17	9.8
6A - Compatible musical tastes	14	8.1
6E - Incompatibility	8	4.6
*Maintaining Phase*
Action
2F - Together (music listening)	53	30.5
2A - Public (music listening)	35	20.1
2B - Private (music listening)	22	12.6
Outcome
6D - Coping with differences	12	6.9
8A - Strengthening bonds/deepening connection	8	4.6
6E - Incompatibility, 8D - Future plans & commitment, & 8H - Losing connection	7	4.0

A more detailed heat map of the frequencies of all 55 first-order codes across the relationship phases is shown in Figure 4.

Figure 4. Frequencies of first-order codes across relationship phases, shown as percentages of participants (color) and absolute participant counts (numbers).

Note. The text colors of the codes indicate the nine higher order themes to which the codes were assigned: 1 = making and recalling memories, 2 = listening to music (public and private), 3 = sharing and discussing music, 4 = active musical activities, 5 = attraction, 6 = compatibility, 7 = self-disclosure and communication, 8 = bonding and (re)connecting, 9 = emotion/affect and regulation.

Negative experiences. Overall, most participants (n = 139, 79.9%) described positive experiences with music, whereas a smaller proportion (n = 36, 20.7%) reported negative experiences. Negative experiences were most frequently mentioned in the maintenance phase (11.5% of the sample), followed by the building (9.2%) and the attraction (4.0%) phases. In the maintenance phase, these negative experiences most often involved realising incompatibilities (4.0%, 6E; e.g., discovering differing musical tastes) and a loss of connection (4.0%, 8H; e.g., spending less time together because one partner was too absorbed in music). Quotes from participants' responses exemplifying these negative experiences shared ideas such as,

“Different music preferences led to us growing apart (he never really wanted to listen to music, but it was important to me) - even with the songs we listened to, when we listened to music we became estranged (I think) because we only ever listened to his songs.” (Participant 370).

Similarly, in both the building phase and attraction phases, the most mentioned negative code was realizing incompatibility (6E), with 4.2% of participants mentioning the code in the building phase, and 1.7% of participants mentioning it in the attraction phase.

Co-occurrence of codes. To explore whether certain action and outcome codes were frequently mentioned together, we conducted a thematic co-occurrence analysis following the method outlined by Scharp (2021). As shown in Figure 5, outcome codes belonging to compatibility (Theme 6) and bonding (Theme 8) mostly co-occurred with action codes. Among the compatibility codes, compatible tastes (6A) showed the most co-occurrences, particularly with listening to music (2F together, n = 19; 2C active, n = 7; 2A in public, n = 7), sharing music (3A, n = 15), and actively making music (4A, n = 5). Participant responses illustrating these co-occurrences included descriptions of actions such as, “Discussing musical preferences, and finding common interests, setting up a date location based on mutual musical interests (e.g. jazz bar), meeting up at a festival.” (Participant 110). Codes belonging to bonding (Theme 8), specifically strengthening bonds (8A), mostly co-occurred with listening to music (2F, n = 8) and sharing music (3A, n = 8). Responses such as, “Going to concerts together and generally listening to songs that both partners like was a nice experience. I feel more connected to my partner when he has at least some idea of what music I like [...].” (Participant 245- 8A and 2F) demonstrate the co-occurrence of these codes.

Figure 5. Co-occurrences of action and outcome codes across all relationship phases.

Circle sizes indicate the frequency of individual codes, and line thicknesses indicate how often the two codes (absolute numbers) were mentioned in the same responses.

A full matrix of co-occurrences overall and separately by relationship phase can be found in the Extended Data (see OSF repository).

Discussion

This study is the first to explore the perceived relevance of music to different aspects of love across the stages of romantic relationships. In our sample of 174 participants, who were mostly female and musically oriented, the quantitative results suggest a medium to high overall importance of music. Regarding the perceived relevance of music to different love aspects and in different relationship stages, music was perceived as more relevant to intimacy and passion than to commitment, and slightly more relevant to the attraction and building phases than to the maintenance phase. In addition, music-related personal characteristics (particularly sensitivity to music reward and, to a lesser extent, musical expertise) were weakly to moderately associated with higher ratings of the overall importance of music and its relevance to the three aspects of love. However, the general pattern of results, such as comparatively lower relevance to commitment, did not change with reward sensitivity.

Two aggregate dimensions (action and outcome) emerged from the 351 qualitative responses, comprising nine second-order themes and 55 first-order codes. Participants frequently mentioned musical actions, with listening to music (54%), sharing or discussing music (46%), and making music together (38.5%) as the most common first-order codes. Outcomes were less frequently mentioned but centred on bonding and (re)connecting (38.6%), and learning about compatibility through music. Notably, second-order themes such as signalling attraction and compatibility and using music for emotional communication and regulation were most common in responses for the attraction phase, whereas bonding through music and engaging in musical activities were more commonly reported for the building and maintenance phases.

Music across the love-span

Using a mixed-methods approach, this study aimed to provide an overview of the relevance of music in romantic relationships at different stages. Quantitative responses indicated that music was perceived as equally relevant to intimacy and passion. By contrast, commitment was clearly differentiated, with participants reporting that music played a smaller role in strengthening this facet.

Open-ended qualitative responses allowed participants to elaborate on the musical behaviours they associate with each stage and why they were important. Consistent with the theoretical framework guiding this study, some parallels can be observed between the generated codes and Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love (Sternberg, 1986). Most notably, participants often reported second-order themes involving music as a bonding experience, which could correspond to an increased level of ‘intimacy’ in Sternberg’s model, while second-order ‘attraction’ codes could correspond to the passion dimension. Codes related to ‘commitment’ were less frequent. In fact, only one code, 8E (future plans and commitment), directly addressed this dimension, and it was mentioned by 5.7% of participants in at least one of the phases. Similarly, in the quantitative results, music was rated as being least relevant to this facet, although some exceptions are discussed in the maintenance phase below.

In the quantitative results, there was a general trend of music being less important over time, particularly during the maintenance phase. When looking at the types of activities mentioned in the qualitative data, listening to music together seems to be done throughout a relationship but becomes more common over time. Meanwhile, sharing and discussing music becomes less common; as people get to know each other’s music tastes better, there is less need to talk about it. Making music with a partner peaked during the building phase. Although emotion regulation was not mentioned as often as other codes, it appears that music is primarily used for this purpose at the beginning of a relationship. Certain trends emerge when looking at which codes are mentioned together, enabling actions to be matched to outcomes. Assessing signals of compatibility with a partner was often mentioned, along with shared music listening, discussing music, and active music making. Meanwhile, people often mentioned increased bonding and connection as an outcome of joint listening and discussing music. Overall, throughout the course of a relationship, music seems to be used less frequently to assess compatibility, and more frequently to deepen the relationship.

Attraction. In the attraction phase, music was considered highly important, particularly for intimacy and passion. Participants mostly mentioned discussing music (32.8%) and listening to music together (24.7%) in this phase. Previous literature has also suggested that talking about music is a common activity during dating, as it is an easy early conversation to learn about strangers (Rentfrow & Gosling, 2006). Our participants also mentioned feeling attracted to those with compatible music tastes (4.6%) or to note compatibility in tastes (14.4%), which is consistent with assortative mating strategies, that is, that people seek out mates who are like themselves (Luo, 2017). Simultaneously, some participants also said that they found musical ability to be attractive to a potential partner (4.6%), which appears to be consistent with the theory that musicality is a sexually selected trait (Miller, 1999). At the same time, our quantitative analyses revealed that individuals with higher musical expertise and music-related reward sensitivity placed significantly higher importance on their partner’s musical ability. Overall, in this phase participants seemed to evaluate potential partners based on musical compatibility, especially music preferences and to a smaller extend, musical ability. There were also some people who already mentioned deepening the connection with a potential partner through music during the attraction phase, although this becomes more prevalent in the next phase.

Building. Most participants rated music as equally important during the building phase as in the attraction phase, and again, music was rated as contributing mostly to the intimacy and passion facets of Sternberg’s (1986) triangular theory of love. In the qualitative responses, sharing and talking about music (11.5%) and listening to music (26.0%) were just as common as in the attraction phase. Shared music making was mentioned most frequently in this phase (10.9%). In these instances, shared music making may have been used to increase feelings of social closeness, as suggested by previous research (Dunbar, 2012; Savage et al., 2021). Correspondingly, increasing connection with a partner became a much more frequent outcome in this phase; attraction may have already been established, but at this stage people were getting to know each other better. Nevertheless, many participants were still assessing their partners for compatibility, and some also reported noticing incompatibilities more as they got deeper into their relationship (4.6%). This could reflect the ending of what may be referred to as the ‘honeymoon phase’ or ‘new relationship energy’, which often occurs at the start of a relationship (Huston et al., 1986; Lucas et al., 2003), as participants moved towards the maintenance phase of their relationships.

Maintaining. In general, music was considered to be less important during the maintenance phase. Contrary to our hypothesis (Bamford et al., 2024), self-reported ratings indicated that music was not seen as more important for enhancing commitment during this phase. Nevertheless, in the qualitative responses, some participants mentioned that music played an important role in their future planning (4.0%) when reflecting on the maintenance phase, which was less common in the prior stages. The most prevalent responses were around choosing music for weddings, for example, “to try and blend our eclectic and different tastes in music into a cohesive couple story” (Participant 49), while others mentioned discussing the songs that they would sing to their future children (participants 33 and 208), or even dreams of “owning a record store together” (Participant 271). It seems that, although participants did not report that music was important for commitment in their relationship on average, there were specific ways in which music was involved in future planning and commitments for some participants.

Other activities mostly decreased in frequency during this phase, except for music listening, which was reported more frequently (30.5%). Bonding and compatibility were the most common outcomes in this phase (see Figure 3). The way participants discussed compatibility seemed different in the maintenance phase, as participants were more likely to talk about how they had overcome differences, or had grown apart, rather than discovering shared musical preferences as they did in earlier phases. As for the previous stages, many participants mentioned that music helped strengthen their bond with their partner, but it also became more common at this stage to begin losing connection, sometimes associated with diverging musical interests.

Individual differences

Our quantitative analysis suggests that music plays a greater role overall, and in terms of the three aspects of the Triangular Theory, for individuals with higher levels of musical reward sensitivity and, to a lesser extent, musical expertise. These individuals reported talking more about music preferences when they met a potential partner; they tended to place more importance on having similar music tastes and high musical ability. The BMRQ further weakly correlated with having an “our song” and seeing music as more important than other leisure areas. Exploratory analyses further revealed a main effect of BMRQ when examining the relevance of music to the three facets of love across different relationship phases. The absence of interaction effects indicates that music reward sensitivity primarily prompts individuals to value music more in their relationships overall, rather than linking it to the enhancement of specific facets of love or particular phases of a relationship.

These findings support the idea that music serves as a way to measure similarity with a partner (e.g., Luo, 2017), rather than being a universally attractive trait (e.g., Miller, 2000). Thus, music appears to be particularly important in romantic relationships of individuals who place high value on it or have strong musical skills themselves. Nevertheless, the effect sizes of these correlations were mostly moderate (BMRQ) or weak (musical expertise), and participants at all levels of expertise and musical reward reported engaging in musical activities and described related outcomes in their qualitative responses. Therefore, music has some value for all, for example, in terms of providing insights into other people's personalities, values, arousal preferences, and desire for cognitive stimulation (Boer et al., 2011; Getz et al., 2014; Vella & Mills, 2017).

Limitations and future directions

While the strengths of this study include its mixed-methods design and a diverse sample in terms of musical background, some limitations should be noted. Regarding demographics, most participants were female, young, and well educated, which limits the generalizability of our findings. For example, bonding behaviours through music and the qualitative themes we identified may reflect female perspectives more strongly. Younger participants may emphasise experiences from the early stages of relationships rather than those from later maintenance phases. If there had been a larger number of older participants or those with less musical training, different patterns might have emerged. For example, there might have been less frequent shared music-making, or a different balance of positive and negative music-related experiences. Finally, as our sample was drawn from a Western cultural context, the ways in which music is used in romantic relationships, and the meanings attributed to it, may differ in other cultures. In terms of measurement, we assessed the relevance of music to intimacy, passion, and commitment, using three simple, self-generated questions. As these questions were not based on pre-existing scales, the results should be interpreted with caution. Qualitative data were derived from three open-ended responses (one for each relationship phase). While these open-ended responses provide novel insight into the relevance of music across the three relationship stages, the level of detail given by participants in these responses may be seen as a slight limitation, with the average response length being approximately 13.6 words. Future research may benefit from incorporating more open-ended questions with more precisely worded prompts or semi-structured interviews to gain deeper insights into participants’ lived experiences. Furthermore, the retrospective report limits causal claims from the co-occurrence analysis, as some responses included multiple experiences or relationships. Consequently, co-occurrence only indicates that actions and outcomes were mentioned together, and not that one caused the other. To overcome this limitation, future research could recruit participants currently situated in different phases of a romantic relationship, collect dyadic data from both romantic partners, or use designs such as experience sampling methods.

Regarding the moderating effect of music-related individual differences, the present study provides an initial exploration of how such traits relate to the role of music in romantic relationships. Further research could investigate additional moderators, such as traits associated with musical tendencies (e.g., openness and empathy), to clarify under what circumstances and for whom music shapes romantic connections. Finally, as this study focused specifically on the role of music in romantic relationships, it remains unclear whether similar results would emerge for other shared leisure activities or for other types of relationships, such as close, non-romantic friendships. Existing research suggests that discussing musical preferences is one of the most frequent topics when initiating a relationship with a stranger (Rentfrow & Gosling, 2006). This indicates that music may play a particularly important role in social bonding, although this has yet to be tested directly.

Conclusion

Considering the relevance of music for social bonding as well as the vast number of songs that address love, it is astonishing that little attention has been paid to studying the role of music in romantic relationships. The current study provides a first investigation of the relevance of music to three core aspects of love across three major phases of romantic relationships. Our findings suggest that the core affordance of music in this context relates to intimacy: learning about, getting closer to, and feeling more connected to a partner. The capacity of music to facilitate social intimacy resonates well with the literature on music as social-bonding in general (e.g., Saarikallio, 2019; Savage et al., 2021; Tarr et al., 2014). This raises the important question of whether the role of music in romantic relationships truly differs from the role that music serves for human social behaviour in general. Activities such as music listening during sex, music that inspires future plans for family, or the use of music to ignite passion are perhaps special for romantic relationships, but testing the broader similarities with other types of relationships could be an interesting avenue for future research. Overall, this study offers new insights into how music is present in romantic relationships, which may be meaningful in music research to couple therapies and broader approaches for studying human relationships.

Ethical approval and consent

This study was considered exempt from ethics committee approval in accordance with the guidelines of the local university ethics committee. Prior to participation, participants were fully informed about the study and provided informed consent in accordance with the principles of the Declaration of Helsinki. Participants gave their written consent for the following statement by clicking on the 'I agree' button:

I am at least 18 years old and freely agree to participate in this research study. I have been informed about the purpose, procedures, and nature of the study and understand them fully. I am aware that my participation is voluntary, and I have the right to withdraw from the study at any time without any penalty or consequences. I understand that the data collected during the study will be kept strictly confidential and anonymized, ensuring my privacy. I hereby grant permission for the data generated from my participation to be used in the researcher's publications on the topic of the study.

Data were securely stored on the university's server to ensure anonymity and confidentiality of all participants.

Data availability

The dataset and analysis code for this study are available in the following OSF repository:

Vigl, J., Bamford, J. S., Saarikallio, S., & Fleckenstein, A. M. (2024, November 22). Music Across the Love Span. https://doi.org/10.17605/OSF.IO/EH8WN (Vigl et al., 2025).

This projects contains the following underlying data:

Extended data:
- supplementary_materials.docx: This document contains five additional tables (Tables S1–S5) and one figure (Figure S1).
- co-occurenceMatrix_full.xlsx: Full co-occurrence matrix of action and outcome codes overall and separately for the relationship phases.
Quantitative data:
- data_wide.csv: Anonymized answers to the quantitative questions in wide format.
- data_long.csv: Anonymized answers to the quantitative questions in long format.
- Codebooks for both datasets are provided in the same location
Qualitative data:
- qualitativeData_wide.csv: First-order codes assigned by two coders in wide format. The ID column in this dataset refers to the participant index number that is also provided in the quantitative datasets
- qualitativeData_long.csv: First-order codes assigned by two coders in long format. The responseID column in this dataset refers to the participant index number that is also provided in the quantitative datasets
- openResponses.xlsx: This file contains the qualitative data (responses to the open-ended questions) in a de-identified format (i.e., without the participant ID), together with the phase for which the response was given, as well as the first-order codes and second-order themes assigned by both coders.
Data analysis:
- dataAnalysis.R: All quantitative and qualitative analysis performed for this article.

Data are available under the terms of the Creative Commons Zero “No rights reserved” data waiver (CC0 1.0 Public domain dedication).

Acknowledgements

The authors wish to thank Marcel Zentner for his advice in the planning of this study and all participants for contributing their stories.

Footnotes

¹Of the 402 individuals who accessed the survey, 31 only viewed the information page, while 371 provided informed consent. Attrition occurred throughout the survey, with the greatest number of dropouts occurring on page four (n = 114), where participants were asked to answer quantitative and qualitative questions on the attraction phase. After excluding 193 participants who did not complete the survey and four participants who had never been in a romantic relationship, the final sample consisted of 174 participants.

Faculty Opinions recommended

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Boer D, Fischer R, Strack M, et al.: How shared preferences in music create bonds between people: values as the missing link. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2011; 37(9): 1159–1171. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text
Bongard S, Schulz I, Studenroth KU, et al.: Attractiveness ratings for musicians and non-musicians: an evolutionary-psychology perspective. Front Psychol. 2019; 10: 2627. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Bowling DL, Gahr J, Ancochea PG, et al.: Endogenous oxytocin, cortisol, and testosterone in response to group singing. Horm Behav. 2022; 139: 105105. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Bradbury TN, Karney BR: Intimate relationships. (Third Edition). W. W. Norton & Company, 2019. Reference Source
Brooks J, McCluskey S, Turley E, et al.: The utility of template analysis in qualitative psychology research. Qual Res Psychol. 2015; 12(2): 202–222. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Buss DM, Barnes M: Preferences in human mate selection. J Pers Soc Psychol. 1986; 50(3): 559–570. Publisher Full Text
Campbell K, Silva LC, Wright DW: Rituals in unmarried couple relationships: an exploratory study. Fam Consum Sci Res J. 2011; 40(1): 45–57. Publisher Full Text
Cohen J: Statistical power analysis for the behavioral sciences. Routledge, 2013. Publisher Full Text
Crabtree BF, Miller WL: A template approach to text analysis: developing and using codebooks. In: B. F. Crabtree & W. L. Miller (Eds.): Doing qualitative research. Sage Publications, 1992; 93–109. Reference Source
Cross I: Music and communication in music psychology. Psychol Music. 2014; 42(6): 809–819. Publisher Full Text
Dingle GA, Sharman LS, Bauer Z, et al.: How do music activities affect health and well-being? A scoping review of studies examining psychosocial mechanisms. Front Psychol. 2021; 12: 713818. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Dunbar RIM: On the evolutionary function of song and dance. In: N. Bannan (Ed.): Music, language, and human evolution. Oxford University Press, 2012; 201–214. Publisher Full Text
Eastwick PW, Finkel EJ, Simpson JA: Relationship trajectories: a meta-theoretical framework and theoretical applications. Psychol Inq. 2019; 30(1): 1–28. Publisher Full Text
Edward DA: The description of mate choice. Behav Ecol. 2015; 26(2): 301–310. Publisher Full Text
Fitch WT: The evolution of music in comparative perspective. Ann N Y Acad Sci. 2005; 1060(1): 29–49. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text
García CY: Temporal course of the basic components of love throughout relationships. Psychology in Spain. 1998; 2(1): 76–86. Reference Source
Geissmann T: Gibbon songs and human music from an evolutionary perspective. In: Wallin NL, Merker B, Brown S, editors, The origins of music. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press, 2000; 103–123. Publisher Full Text
Getz LM, Marks S, Roy M: The influence of stress, optimism, and music training on music uses and preferences. Psychol Music. 2014; 42(1): 71–85. Publisher Full Text
Goode WJ: The theoretical importance of love. Am Sociol Rev. 1959; 24(1): 38–47. Publisher Full Text
Hagen EH, Bryant GA: Music and dance as a coalition signaling system. Hum Nat. 2003; 14(1): 21–51. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text
Harris CB, Baird A, Harris SA, et al.: “They’re playing our song”: couple-defining songs in intimate relationships. J Soc Pers Relat. 2020; 37(1): 163–179. Publisher Full Text
Harwood J, Wallace S: Shared musical activity and perceptions of relationship commitment. Psychol Music. 2021; 50(6): 030573562110587. Publisher Full Text
Hatfield E, Rapson RL: Love, sex and intimacy: their psychology, biology, and history. HarperCollins College Publishers, 1993; xxii–520. Reference Source
Hatfield E, Sprecher S: Measuring passionate love in intimate relationships. J Adolesc. 1986; 9(4): 383–410. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text
Hove MJ, Risen JL: It’s all in the timing: interpersonal synchrony increases affiliation. Soc Cogn. 2009; 27(6): 949–961. Publisher Full Text
Huston TL, McHale SM, Crouter AC: When the honeymoon’s over: changes in the marriage relationship over the first year. In: The emerging field of personal relationships. Routledge, 1986. Publisher Full Text
Karamihalev S: Why creativity is sexy: a review of the evidence of sexual selection for creative abilities in humans. Journal of European Psychology Students. 2013; 4(1): 78. Publisher Full Text
Knapp ML: Social intercourse: from greeting to goodbye. Allyn and Bacon, 1978. Reference Source
Kokal I, Engel A, Kirschner S, et al.: Synchronized drumming enhances activity in the caudate and facilitates prosocial commitment—If the rhythm comes easily. PLoS One. 2011; 6(11): e27272. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Kokotsaki D, Hallam S: Higher education music students’ perceptions of the benefits of participative music making. Music Education Research. 2007; 9(1): 93–109. Publisher Full Text
Kowal M, Sorokowski P, Dinić BM, et al.: Validation of the short version (TLS-15) of the Triangular Love Scale (TLS-45) across 37 languages. Arch Sex Behav. 2024; 53(2): 839–857. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Kreutz G: Does singing facilitate social bonding? Music Med. 2014; 6(2): 51–60. Reference Source
Lemieux R, Hale JL: Cross-sectional analysis of intimacy, passion, and commitment: testing the assumptions of the triangular theory of love. Psychol Rep. 2002; 90(3 Pt 1): 1009–1014. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text
Levinger G: Toward the analysis of close relationships. J Exp Soc Psychol. 1980; 16(6): 510–544. Publisher Full Text
Limesurvey GmbH: LimeSurvey: an open source survey tool. (Version 2.64) [Computer software]. 2022. Reference Source
Lonsdale AJ, North AC: Musical taste and ingroup favouritism. Group Process Intergroup Relat. 2009; 12(3): 319–327. Publisher Full Text
Lucas RE, Clark AE, Georgellis Y, et al.: Reexamining adaptation and the set point model of happiness: reactions to changes in marital status. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2003; 84(3): 527–539. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text
Luo S: Assortative mating and couple similarity: patterns, mechanisms, and consequences. Soc Personal Psychol Compass. 2017; 11(8): e12337. Publisher Full Text
Madison G, Holmquist J, Vestin M: Musical improvisation skill in a prospective partner is associated with mate value and preferences, consistent with sexual selection and parental investment theory: implications for the origin of music. Evolution and Human Behavior. 2018; 39(1): 120–129. Publisher Full Text
Marin MM, Rathgeber I: Darwin’s sexual selection hypothesis revisited: musicality increases sexual attraction in both sexes. Front Psychol. 2022; 13: 971988. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Mas-Herrero E, Marco-Pallares J, Lorenzo-Seva U, et al.: Barcelona Music Reward Questionnaire (BMRQ) [Database record]. Music Perception. 2013. Publisher Full Text
McHugh ML: Interrater reliability: the kappa statistic. Biochem Med (Zagreb). 2012; 22(3): 276–282. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Mehr SA, Krasnow MM, Bryant GA, et al.: Origins of music in credible signalling. Behav Brain Sci. 2021; 44: e60. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Miller G: Evolution of human music through sexual selection. In: N. L. Wallin, B. Merker, & S. Brown (Eds.), The origins of music. MIT Press, 1999; 329–360. Publisher Full Text
Miller G: Evolution of human music through sexual selection. In: The origins of music. eds. N. L. Wallin, B. Merker and S. Brown (Cambridge, MA: MIT Press), 2000; 329–360. Publisher Full Text
Mogan R, Fischer R, Bulbulia JA: To be in synchrony or not? A meta-analysis of synchrony’s effects on behavior, perception, cognition and affect. J Exp Soc Psychol. 2017; 72: 13–20. Publisher Full Text
Montoya RM, Horton RS: Understanding the attraction process. Soc Personal Psychol Compass. 2020; 14(4): e12526. Publisher Full Text
Mosing MA, Verweij KJH, Madison G, et al.: Did sexual selection shape human music? Testing predictions from the sexual selection hypothesis of music evolution using a large genetically informative sample of over 10,000 twins. Evol Hum Behav. 2015; 36(5): 359–366. Publisher Full Text
Ogolsky BG, Dobson K, Rivas-Koehl M, et al.: The progression of college student romantic relationship development: stability and change over 10 years. Pers Relatsh. 2025; 32(1): e12590. Publisher Full Text
Ogolsky BG, Monk JK, Rice TM, et al.: Relationship maintenance: a review of research on romantic relationships. J Fam Theory Rev. 2017; 9(3): 275–306. Publisher Full Text
Ollen JE: A criterion-related validity test of selected indicators of musical sophistication using expert ratings. The Ohio State University, 2006. Reference Source
Pearce E, Launay J, Dunbar RIM: The ice-breaker effect: singing mediates fast social bonding. R Soc Open Sci. 2015; 2(10): 150221. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Rennung M, Göritz AS: Prosocial consequences of interpersonal synchrony: a meta-analysis. Z Psychol. 2016; 224(3): 168–189. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Rentfrow PJ, Gosling SD: Message in a ballad: the role of music preferences in interpersonal perception. Psychol Sci. 2006; 17(3): 236–242. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text
Saarikallio S: Access-Awareness-Agency (AAA) Model of Music-Based Social-Emotional Competence (MuSEC). Music & Science. 2019; 2: 1–16. Publisher Full Text
Savage PE, Loui P, Tarr B, et al.: Music as a coevolved system for social bonding. Behav Brain Sci. 2021; 44: e59. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text
Scharp KM: Thematic co-occurrence analysis: advancing a theory and qualitative method to illuminate ambivalent experiences. J Commun. 2021; 71(4): 545–571. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Selfhout MHW, Branje SJT, ter Bogt TFM, et al.: The role of music preferences in early adolescents’ friendship formation and stability. J Adolesc. 2009; 32(1): 95–107. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text
Shepherd D, Sigg N: Music preference, social identity, and self-esteem. Music Perception. 2015; 32(5): 507–514. Publisher Full Text
Sorokowski P, Sorokowska A, Karwowski M, et al.: Universality of the triangular theory of love: adaptation and psychometric properties of the triangular love scale in 25 countries. J Sex Res. 2021; 58(1): 106–115. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text
Sternberg RJ: A triangular theory of love. Psychol Rev. 1986; 93(2): 119–135. Publisher Full Text
Stinson DA, Cameron JJ, Hoplock LB: The friends-to-lovers pathway to romance: prevalent, preferred, and overlooked by science. Soc Psychol Personal Sci. 2022; 13(2): 562–571. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Tarr B: Social bonding through dance and “Musiking.” In: N. L. Enfield & P. Kockelman (Eds.), Distributed agency. Oxford University Press, 2017; 151–158. Publisher Full Text
Tarr B, Launay J, Dunbar RIM: Music and social bonding: “self-other” merging and neurohormonal mechanisms. Front Psychol. 2014; 5: 1096. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Vella EJ, Mills G: Personality, uses of music, and music preference: the influence of openness to experience and extraversion. Psychol Music. 2017; 45(3): 338–354. Publisher Full Text
Verneert F, Nijs L, De Baets T: A space for collaborative creativity. How collective improvising shapes ‘a sense of belonging’. Front Psychol. 2021; 12: 648770. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text
Vicaria IM, Dickens L: Meta-analyses of the intra- and interpersonal outcomes of interpersonal coordination. J Nonverbal Behav. 2016; 40(4): 335–361. Publisher Full Text
Vigl J, Bamford JS, Saarikallio S, et al.: Music across the love span. 2025. http://www.doi.org/10.17605/OSF.IO/EH8WN
Walster EH, Walster GW: A new look at love. Addison Wesley Publishing Company, 1978. Reference Source
Wojciszke B: From the first sight to the last drop: a six-stage model of the dynamics of love. Polish Psychological Bulletin. 2002; 33: 15–25. Reference Source

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Research Article

Published

December 15, 2025

DOI

https://doi.org/10.12688/openreseurope.19016.3

Versions

December 15, 2025 (Version of Record 2.0)
October 31, 2025 (Version of Record 1.0)
December 24, 2024 (Published Manuscript Under Review 1.0)

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Funding data

The Research Council of Norway

Grant ID(s): 262762
Research Council of Finland

Grant ID(s): 346210
European Commission

Grant ID(s): 101045747
Österreichische Forschungsgemeinschaft

Grant ID(s): 06/16599

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437

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Keywords

Music, romantic relationships, social bonding, mate selection, compatibility, attractiveness

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Julia Vigl

Psychologie, Universitat Innsbruck Fakultät für Psychologie und Sportwissenschaft, Innsbruck, Tyrol, 6020, Austria

Roles

Corresponding Author, Co-Author, Conceptualization, Data Curation, Formal Analysis, Funding Acquisition, Investigation, Methodology, Resources, Software, Validation, Visualization, Writing – Original Draft Preparation, Writing – Review & Editing

0000-0003-2152-7584

julia.vigl@uibk.ac.at

Joshua S. Bamford

Department of Music, Art and Culture Studies, University of Jyväskylä, Jyväskylä, Central Finland, 40014, Finland

Centre of Excellence in Music, Mind, Body and Brain, Jyväskylä, Finland, 40014, Finland

Centre for the Study of Social Cohesion, University of Oxford School of Anthropology and Museum Ethnography, Oxford, England, OX26PE, UK

Roles

Co-Author, Conceptualization, Formal Analysis, Funding Acquisition, Investigation, Methodology, Validation, Writing – Original Draft Preparation, Writing – Review & Editing

0000-0002-8204-7915

joshua.s.bamford@jyu.fi

Abbigail Fleckenstein

Department of Psychology; RITMO Centre for Interdisciplinary Studies in Rhythm, Time and Motion, University of Oslo, Oslo, Norway, 0316, Norway

Roles

Co-Author, Data Curation, Formal Analysis, Funding Acquisition, Validation, Writing – Original Draft Preparation, Writing – Review & Editing

0009-0003-1835-2098

a.m.fleckenstein@psykologi.uio.no

Suvi Saarikallio

Department of Music, Art and Culture Studies, University of Jyväskylä, Jyväskylä, Central Finland, 40014, Finland

Centre of Excellence in Music, Mind, Body and Brain, Jyväskylä, Finland, 40014, Finland

Roles

Co-Author, Conceptualization, Funding Acquisition, Methodology, Project Administration, Resources, Supervision, Validation, Writing – Original Draft Preparation, Writing – Review & Editing

suvi.saarikallio@jyu.fi

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[1] Acker M, Davis MH: Intimacy, passion and commitment in adult romantic relationships: a test of the triangular theory of love. J Soc Pers Relat. 1992; 9(1): 21–50. Publisher Full Text

[2] Altman I, Taylor DA: Social penetration: the development of interpersonal relationships. Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1973; viii, 212. Reference Source

[3] Bamford JS, Burger B, Toiviainen P: Turning heads on the dance floor: synchrony and social interaction using a silent disco paradigm. Music & Science. 2023; 6: 205920432311554. Publisher Full Text

[4] Bamford JS, Vigl J, Hämäläinen M, et al.: Love songs and serenades: a theoretical review of music and romantic relationships. Front Psychol. 2024; 15: 1302548. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[5] Berger CR, Calabrese RJ: Some explorations in initial interaction and beyond: toward a developmental theory of interpersonal communication. Hum Commun Res. 1975; 1(2): 99–112. Publisher Full Text

[6] Bode A, Kushnick G: Proximate and ultimate perspectives on romantic love. Front Psychol. 2021; 12: 573123. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[7] Boer D, Fischer R, Strack M, et al.: How shared preferences in music create bonds between people: values as the missing link. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2011; 37(9): 1159–1171. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text

[8] Bongard S, Schulz I, Studenroth KU, et al.: Attractiveness ratings for musicians and non-musicians: an evolutionary-psychology perspective. Front Psychol. 2019; 10: 2627. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[9] Bowling DL, Gahr J, Ancochea PG, et al.: Endogenous oxytocin, cortisol, and testosterone in response to group singing. Horm Behav. 2022; 139: 105105. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[10] Bradbury TN, Karney BR: Intimate relationships. (Third Edition). W. W. Norton & Company, 2019. Reference Source

[11] Brooks J, McCluskey S, Turley E, et al.: The utility of template analysis in qualitative psychology research. Qual Res Psychol. 2015; 12(2): 202–222. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[12] Buss DM, Barnes M: Preferences in human mate selection. J Pers Soc Psychol. 1986; 50(3): 559–570. Publisher Full Text

[13] Campbell K, Silva LC, Wright DW: Rituals in unmarried couple relationships: an exploratory study. Fam Consum Sci Res J. 2011; 40(1): 45–57. Publisher Full Text

[14] Cohen J: Statistical power analysis for the behavioral sciences. Routledge, 2013. Publisher Full Text

[15] Crabtree BF, Miller WL: A template approach to text analysis: developing and using codebooks. In: B. F. Crabtree & W. L. Miller (Eds.): Doing qualitative research. Sage Publications, 1992; 93–109. Reference Source

[16] Cross I: Music and communication in music psychology. Psychol Music. 2014; 42(6): 809–819. Publisher Full Text

[17] Dingle GA, Sharman LS, Bauer Z, et al.: How do music activities affect health and well-being? A scoping review of studies examining psychosocial mechanisms. Front Psychol. 2021; 12: 713818. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[18] Dunbar RIM: On the evolutionary function of song and dance. In: N. Bannan (Ed.): Music, language, and human evolution. Oxford University Press, 2012; 201–214. Publisher Full Text

[19] Eastwick PW, Finkel EJ, Simpson JA: Relationship trajectories: a meta-theoretical framework and theoretical applications. Psychol Inq. 2019; 30(1): 1–28. Publisher Full Text

[20] Edward DA: The description of mate choice. Behav Ecol. 2015; 26(2): 301–310. Publisher Full Text

[21] Fitch WT: The evolution of music in comparative perspective. Ann N Y Acad Sci. 2005; 1060(1): 29–49. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text

[22] García CY: Temporal course of the basic components of love throughout relationships. Psychology in Spain. 1998; 2(1): 76–86. Reference Source

[23] Geissmann T: Gibbon songs and human music from an evolutionary perspective. In: Wallin NL, Merker B, Brown S, editors, The origins of music. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press, 2000; 103–123. Publisher Full Text

[24] Getz LM, Marks S, Roy M: The influence of stress, optimism, and music training on music uses and preferences. Psychol Music. 2014; 42(1): 71–85. Publisher Full Text

[25] Goode WJ: The theoretical importance of love. Am Sociol Rev. 1959; 24(1): 38–47. Publisher Full Text

[26] Hagen EH, Bryant GA: Music and dance as a coalition signaling system. Hum Nat. 2003; 14(1): 21–51. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text

[27] Harris CB, Baird A, Harris SA, et al.: “They’re playing our song”: couple-defining songs in intimate relationships. J Soc Pers Relat. 2020; 37(1): 163–179. Publisher Full Text

[28] Harwood J, Wallace S: Shared musical activity and perceptions of relationship commitment. Psychol Music. 2021; 50(6): 030573562110587. Publisher Full Text

[29] Hatfield E, Rapson RL: Love, sex and intimacy: their psychology, biology, and history. HarperCollins College Publishers, 1993; xxii–520. Reference Source

[30] Hatfield E, Sprecher S: Measuring passionate love in intimate relationships. J Adolesc. 1986; 9(4): 383–410. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text

[31] Hove MJ, Risen JL: It’s all in the timing: interpersonal synchrony increases affiliation. Soc Cogn. 2009; 27(6): 949–961. Publisher Full Text

[32] Huston TL, McHale SM, Crouter AC: When the honeymoon’s over: changes in the marriage relationship over the first year. In: The emerging field of personal relationships. Routledge, 1986. Publisher Full Text

[33] Karamihalev S: Why creativity is sexy: a review of the evidence of sexual selection for creative abilities in humans. Journal of European Psychology Students. 2013; 4(1): 78. Publisher Full Text

[34] Knapp ML: Social intercourse: from greeting to goodbye. Allyn and Bacon, 1978. Reference Source

[35] Kokal I, Engel A, Kirschner S, et al.: Synchronized drumming enhances activity in the caudate and facilitates prosocial commitment—If the rhythm comes easily. PLoS One. 2011; 6(11): e27272. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[36] Kokotsaki D, Hallam S: Higher education music students’ perceptions of the benefits of participative music making. Music Education Research. 2007; 9(1): 93–109. Publisher Full Text

[37] Kowal M, Sorokowski P, Dinić BM, et al.: Validation of the short version (TLS-15) of the Triangular Love Scale (TLS-45) across 37 languages. Arch Sex Behav. 2024; 53(2): 839–857. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[38] Kreutz G: Does singing facilitate social bonding? Music Med. 2014; 6(2): 51–60. Reference Source

[39] Lemieux R, Hale JL: Cross-sectional analysis of intimacy, passion, and commitment: testing the assumptions of the triangular theory of love. Psychol Rep. 2002; 90(3 Pt 1): 1009–1014. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text

[40] Levinger G: Toward the analysis of close relationships. J Exp Soc Psychol. 1980; 16(6): 510–544. Publisher Full Text

[41] Limesurvey GmbH: LimeSurvey: an open source survey tool. (Version 2.64) [Computer software]. 2022. Reference Source

[42] Lonsdale AJ, North AC: Musical taste and ingroup favouritism. Group Process Intergroup Relat. 2009; 12(3): 319–327. Publisher Full Text

[43] Lucas RE, Clark AE, Georgellis Y, et al.: Reexamining adaptation and the set point model of happiness: reactions to changes in marital status. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2003; 84(3): 527–539. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text

[44] Luo S: Assortative mating and couple similarity: patterns, mechanisms, and consequences. Soc Personal Psychol Compass. 2017; 11(8): e12337. Publisher Full Text

[45] Madison G, Holmquist J, Vestin M: Musical improvisation skill in a prospective partner is associated with mate value and preferences, consistent with sexual selection and parental investment theory: implications for the origin of music. Evolution and Human Behavior. 2018; 39(1): 120–129. Publisher Full Text

[46] Marin MM, Rathgeber I: Darwin’s sexual selection hypothesis revisited: musicality increases sexual attraction in both sexes. Front Psychol. 2022; 13: 971988. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[47] Mas-Herrero E, Marco-Pallares J, Lorenzo-Seva U, et al.: Barcelona Music Reward Questionnaire (BMRQ) [Database record]. Music Perception. 2013. Publisher Full Text

[48] McHugh ML: Interrater reliability: the kappa statistic. Biochem Med (Zagreb). 2012; 22(3): 276–282. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[49] Mehr SA, Krasnow MM, Bryant GA, et al.: Origins of music in credible signalling. Behav Brain Sci. 2021; 44: e60. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[50] Miller G: Evolution of human music through sexual selection. In: N. L. Wallin, B. Merker, & S. Brown (Eds.), The origins of music. MIT Press, 1999; 329–360. Publisher Full Text

[51] Miller G: Evolution of human music through sexual selection. In: The origins of music. eds. N. L. Wallin, B. Merker and S. Brown (Cambridge, MA: MIT Press), 2000; 329–360. Publisher Full Text

[52] Mogan R, Fischer R, Bulbulia JA: To be in synchrony or not? A meta-analysis of synchrony’s effects on behavior, perception, cognition and affect. J Exp Soc Psychol. 2017; 72: 13–20. Publisher Full Text

[53] Montoya RM, Horton RS: Understanding the attraction process. Soc Personal Psychol Compass. 2020; 14(4): e12526. Publisher Full Text

[54] Mosing MA, Verweij KJH, Madison G, et al.: Did sexual selection shape human music? Testing predictions from the sexual selection hypothesis of music evolution using a large genetically informative sample of over 10,000 twins. Evol Hum Behav. 2015; 36(5): 359–366. Publisher Full Text

[55] Ogolsky BG, Dobson K, Rivas-Koehl M, et al.: The progression of college student romantic relationship development: stability and change over 10 years. Pers Relatsh. 2025; 32(1): e12590. Publisher Full Text

[56] Ogolsky BG, Monk JK, Rice TM, et al.: Relationship maintenance: a review of research on romantic relationships. J Fam Theory Rev. 2017; 9(3): 275–306. Publisher Full Text

[57] Ollen JE: A criterion-related validity test of selected indicators of musical sophistication using expert ratings. The Ohio State University, 2006. Reference Source

[58] Pearce E, Launay J, Dunbar RIM: The ice-breaker effect: singing mediates fast social bonding. R Soc Open Sci. 2015; 2(10): 150221. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[59] Rennung M, Göritz AS: Prosocial consequences of interpersonal synchrony: a meta-analysis. Z Psychol. 2016; 224(3): 168–189. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[60] Rentfrow PJ, Gosling SD: Message in a ballad: the role of music preferences in interpersonal perception. Psychol Sci. 2006; 17(3): 236–242. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text

[61] Saarikallio S: Access-Awareness-Agency (AAA) Model of Music-Based Social-Emotional Competence (MuSEC). Music & Science. 2019; 2: 1–16. Publisher Full Text

[62] Savage PE, Loui P, Tarr B, et al.: Music as a coevolved system for social bonding. Behav Brain Sci. 2021; 44: e59. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text

[63] Scharp KM: Thematic co-occurrence analysis: advancing a theory and qualitative method to illuminate ambivalent experiences. J Commun. 2021; 71(4): 545–571. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[64] Selfhout MHW, Branje SJT, ter Bogt TFM, et al.: The role of music preferences in early adolescents’ friendship formation and stability. J Adolesc. 2009; 32(1): 95–107. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text

[65] Shepherd D, Sigg N: Music preference, social identity, and self-esteem. Music Perception. 2015; 32(5): 507–514. Publisher Full Text

[66] Sorokowski P, Sorokowska A, Karwowski M, et al.: Universality of the triangular theory of love: adaptation and psychometric properties of the triangular love scale in 25 countries. J Sex Res. 2021; 58(1): 106–115. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text

[67] Sternberg RJ: A triangular theory of love. Psychol Rev. 1986; 93(2): 119–135. Publisher Full Text

[68] Stinson DA, Cameron JJ, Hoplock LB: The friends-to-lovers pathway to romance: prevalent, preferred, and overlooked by science. Soc Psychol Personal Sci. 2022; 13(2): 562–571. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[69] Tarr B: Social bonding through dance and “Musiking.” In: N. L. Enfield & P. Kockelman (Eds.), Distributed agency. Oxford University Press, 2017; 151–158. Publisher Full Text

[70] Tarr B, Launay J, Dunbar RIM: Music and social bonding: “self-other” merging and neurohormonal mechanisms. Front Psychol. 2014; 5: 1096. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[71] Vella EJ, Mills G: Personality, uses of music, and music preference: the influence of openness to experience and extraversion. Psychol Music. 2017; 45(3): 338–354. Publisher Full Text

[72] Verneert F, Nijs L, De Baets T: A space for collaborative creativity. How collective improvising shapes ‘a sense of belonging’. Front Psychol. 2021; 12: 648770. PubMed Abstract | Publisher Full Text | Free Full Text

[73] Vicaria IM, Dickens L: Meta-analyses of the intra- and interpersonal outcomes of interpersonal coordination. J Nonverbal Behav. 2016; 40(4): 335–361. Publisher Full Text

[74] Vigl J, Bamford JS, Saarikallio S, et al.: Music across the love span. 2025. http://www.doi.org/10.17605/OSF.IO/EH8WN

[75] Walster EH, Walster GW: A new look at love. Addison Wesley Publishing Company, 1978. Reference Source

[76] Wojciszke B: From the first sight to the last drop: a six-stage model of the dynamics of love. Polish Psychological Bulletin. 2002; 33: 15–25. Reference Source

Music across the love-span: a mixed methods study into the use of music in romantic relationships

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Julia Vigl

Joshua S. Bamford

Abbigail Fleckenstein

Suvi Saarikallio

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Cited by

via Crossref